Sunday, September 29, 2013

DIY: Recycled School Uniform

Turn an old pleated school skirt into an even older looking kilt. Because you're just so PuNk you have to wear plaid, feel like a Scotsman, or maybe you're in a folk metal band, here's how to make yourself a kilt:

DIY: Modify band shirts

You know that uber awesome shirt you have that's really extra large? A great deal of you spooks probably listen to bands, and wear shirts, so it's quite likely that the shirt in question is in fact a band shirt. Either that, or it's Sonic the Hedgehog merch you bought at the latest Con. Do not contradict me, I am correct. Notice how people size these shirts to fit rectangles. That's because they are designed using Tetris™, and that is what happens when you let geeks make fashion statements.

For those of you that want to show off your feminine/masculine/ambiguously gendered features, here's the absolute easiest way to modify your shirt besides gluing it to your body.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Fancy Johns

In Death Inc., the characters are huge fans of "Zombie Joe's", Hell's best diner, and rightly so. Not only can living dead Joe make a coffee strong enough to wake the dead, but he can also cook up a mean "Sloppy Joe". Unfortunately, each business has its competition. "Angel John's", located high up in heaven, just recently produced a most holy concoction. This miracle is enough to have Jesus walk on your watering mouth and gluttony rayed from the ten commandments. Blessed Angel John piously presents:


Monster Mash

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise

He did the mash
He did the-


The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Tea Time in the Dollhouse

Take a look at what's going on in the Dollhouse! This morning's photoshoot with Coco and Ruth:


Sunday, September 22, 2013

Lecter's Leftovers


Note: This meal is suitable for vegetarians, and contrary to supposed audience belief, contains no human meat whatsoever. If, however, you are a descendant of rabid carnivores, add chicken or beef for a fleshy kick. Purchase Red Dragon by Thomas Harris on Amazon.

Sasquatch Sauce

"Bigfoot, also known as sasquatch, is the name given to an ape-like creature that some people believe inhabits forests, mainly in the Pacific Northwest region of North America. Bigfoot is usually described as a large, hairy, bipedal humanoid. The term sasquatch is an anglicized derivative of the Halkomelem word sásq’ets.[2][3]
Most scientists discount the existence of Bigfoot and consider it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification, and hoax,[4]rather than a living animal, because of the lack of physical evidence and the large numbers of creatures that would be necessary to maintain a breeding population.[5][6] A few scientists, such as Jane Goodall,[7][8] Grover Krantz, and Jeffrey Meldrum, have expressed interest and some measure of belief in the creature.[9]"
A Wikipedia Entry on Bigfoot.

Note: Sasquatch meat is exquisite when marinated in zombie ichor. For best results, cook at 3 600°F.

Dracula's Breakfast

"My Friend.- Welcome to the Carpathians. I am anxiously expecting you. Sleep well to-night. At three to-morrow the diligence will start for Bukovina; a place on it is kept for you. At the Borgo Pass my carriage will await you and will bring you to me. I trust that your journey from London has been a happy one, and that you will enjoy your stay in my beautiful land."
"Your Friend,
"DRACULA."

Blend the above ingredients and enjoy!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

"Dear Grim Reaper" on your iPhone!



Read the Grim Reaper's stories wherever you go! "Dear Grim Reaper" is now available on Wattpad with a special foreword from the Doctor for you to view on your computer or handheld/clawheld device. Read here.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Welcome Home


He stared at the approaching ship in awe. As it landed, a huge cloud of smoke blew in his face, and he had to squint his eyes to see past the dust. A light shone bright, and the door to the space craft opened slowly. His heart started racing, but he clutched the handle bars on his tricycle, and sat still, watching. The dust cleared, and a creature emerged from the glow. It was an extra-terrestrial moving steadily towards him. As it approached, he felt his body freeze, and heart stop. It's green tentacles were twisting, contorting, reaching out towards him. That's when he realized, with horror, that the alien was his mom.

"Welcome home Bobby! I made your favorite pie."